Archive | February, 2010

‘BULLY BROWN’: CAMERON REVEALS HE IS A VICTIM

23 Feb

Gordon Brown mocking journalists

Conservative leader David Cameron has added fuel to the claims that Gordon Brown has physically and verbally abused members of staff at Downing street, by stating that he has been a victim of ‘Bully Brown’ for over 5 years.

The former Etonian says he now has the confidence to speak of the abuse he has suffered under the Scotsman now others have brought Brown’s behaviour to the public forum.
“First it was harmless japes” said Cameron “Several times, Gordon used to walk directly behind me as we entered the House. As I sat down, a raspberry would be blown from his mouth, to make it appear as if I had just broken wind. He would then shout very loudly “Farty Cameron, Farty Cameron” before sniggering with his compatriots.”
Cameron added “It became worse when he became Prime Minister and I became leader of the opposition. On several occasions, Gordon threw a cream pie in my face and undid my trousers as I struggled to see through a wall of pastry. The humiliation as I stumbled through parliament exposing my nether regions whilst covered in cream was unbearable, and Gordon’s evil cackle as I did so haunts me still”

"I was Farty Cameron"

Brown and his cabinet have spent the week denying claims that the prime minister has mistreated staff.  However, Lord Mandelson when questioned over Cameron’s allegations responded “Well, that’s different, it isn’t bullying when its Farty Cameron. Gordon’s cream pie stunts have proven to be a welcome distraction from the less than ideal economic situation, and I believe the country will be grateful to him for that”
Other allegations that Brown had  once pushed Cameron into a thorny rose bush before urinating on it and throwing a delicious trifle in his face as he crawled out were also confirmed by Mandelson.
“This is not the behaviour we expect from our Prime Minister?” wailed a tearful Cameron in an interview with The BBC. “Bullies should not be in power and I can not take another cream pie”
The allegations could not have come at a worse time for the Prime Minister, as his public approval rating reached a new low just months before the election. It has also been confirmed that he has lost his endorsement contract with cake manufacturer Sara Lee when it became apparent exactly what he had been doing with their complementary products.
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